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January 19th, 2009
02:28 pm - Dear Lazyweb
Can someone find out who created these images? Click for full, awesome versions.
Update, moments later: Chiara Bautista.
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December 9th, 2008
10:14 pm - Recent flickr uploads.
Started uploading my photos to Flickr. Check it out for moments such as these:
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October 31st, 2008
09:46 am - Halloween Costume HowTo: BRAIN SLUGS
I made a batch of six last night - I forgot how easy it is.
You will need:
- yellow cleaning gloves
- superglue
- pipe cleaners or whatever those things are called, you'll see what I mean.
- a sharpie.
- green spraypaint, or if you have time to kill, a green marker.
- sticky velcro tape.
Step 1: Inflate gloves, and tie them off.
Step 2: Fold down each of the fingers, aiming somewhat towards the thumb, and squeeze superglue in the fold. This will splay them out and make them look more like little tentacles.
Step 3: Cut out a circle of paper, and scotch-tape it to where you want the eye to be, then color the whole glove green. I suspended mine from a string with some newspaper behind it, so I could get some even-ish paint coverage.
Step 4: Remove the paper eye, and grab a bendy twisty thing. Twist it around the knot where you tied the glove off, and roll up the twisty doodad to make little end-points. This also makes sure you don't stab anyone in the eye with the sharp end of one.
Step 5: Draw an ominous eye.
Step 6: Enjoy world domination!
Some of my little slugs appear to have deflated a bit overnight, which actually makes them look even better.
Step 7: This is the step that probably won't apply to any of you, but I used double-sided velcro tape to hold the little suckers on my head. I just peeled back the tape, and stuck a bit of one side to my head, and a bit of the other side to the slug. The glue is pretty strong, so I can remove and reattach the brain slug as necessary, but unless you have a bald spot on your head that you can conveniently attach something to, I don't really know what to suggest. You might be able to superglue bobby pins to the slug, or something. Ask a woman.
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October 17th, 2008
02:40 pm - It's mostly a rhetorical question
Will you stop e-mailing me?
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October 6th, 2008
02:31 pm - I'm fairly certain this is one of the signs of the Apocalypse
4chan is leaking out into the world.
http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/badastronomy/2008/10/06/astronomers-find-a-planet-denser-than-lead/
Meet the planet COROT-exo-3b. ... What’s bizarre is that it has about the same diameter of Jupiter, but has 21.6 times Jupiter’s mass. That makes it denser than lead.
If I could stand on the surface of this planet, I’d weigh 4200 kilograms. That’s over 9000 pounds!
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October 4th, 2008
06:07 pm - I miss this life
Sitting in Austin, drinking, and getting paid for it.
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September 18th, 2008
11:36 am - I have no words. Just an erection.
I really can't explain this, so I'm not even going to try. I guess it's NSFW, if only because of the sheer resulting mind-fuckery.
( What will be seen cannot be unseen. )
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March 12th, 2008
02:01 pm - Tub Ring Show apparently cancelled.
There is no god, or if there is, he probably hates me. I knew I shouldn't have knifed all those nuns at the bus stop last week.
Anyway, tub ring show is cancelled. If you were looking forward to getting your nipples licked, I guess you can always head downtown anyway and hook up with a friendly hobo. Bring a wet-nap.
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March 11th, 2008
12:52 am - FRIDAY, FRIDAY FRIDAY - Tub Ring @ Darkside Lounge
I'm going to see Tub Ring play this friday at the darkside lounge in Dallas, and if you go I will totally lick your nipple if you remind me I said this. (I'm pretty drunk right now.)
Tub Ring is pretty amazing, and you should totally go. I'll be there, lickin' nipples.
UPDATE: I hate life, show is apparently cancelled. :(
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March 7th, 2008
01:57 pm - Kinder Eggs
As most of you know, I grew up in Russia, and Kinder Eggs were precious bits of treasure from the distant and mysterious west. (Not too far west, but far enough to be awesome.) Chocolate candy? Amazingly tiny detailed toy? The joy of unpeeling crinkly foil?
Maybe that last one was just for kids with slight OCD, like me.
Anyway, Kinder Eggs remind me of everything awesome about childhood, and I buy one time to time at a local Russian/Euro Deli store. Every Russian store I've been to sells them, so you should give it a try.
Sadly, those toys are nowhere near as amusing as they were when I was a kid. Oh well, nostalgia (and chocolate) are still delicious.
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January 8th, 2008
11:03 pm - CONTEST --- PORNOGRAPHY or CHILDREN'S TELEVISION?
One day I hope to live in a country technologically advanced enough to not be able to tell the difference.
Seriously, though, what the hell.
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January 2nd, 2008
11:22 am - I am literally angry with rage.
It's 2008, people. There's no goddamned reason in the world why anyone should still be censoring the word "ass" out of a song.
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January 1st, 2008
07:10 pm - Coin Jar
According to the coin jar calculator, I have more money in my coin jar than I do in my checking account.
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December 27th, 2007
10:11 am - I would strangle a baby to make WinAmp available on the mac.
Seriously. Find out which infant I have to throttle to death in its crib, and I'll put on my murderin' gloves.
iTunes is goddamned terrible. Quicksilver makes it somewhat usable by providing the ability to use the keyboard to control it. Maybe there's a way to use a single key stroke to go forward/backward/play/pause, but for now I have to hit APPLE-SPACE, and then type "pr" for previous, "ne" for next, etc. That's not entirely miserable.
Of course there's no way to just jump to a song from keyboard, or even from iTunes, really. You have to search for a song, then select it from the list... and then make sure to clear the search listing, or it'll only play your search results.
And my god, I miss being able to queue up songs.
In conclusion, I fucking hate life, and all the supposed focus on usability fucking went out the window when it came to iTunes. Right now, it's only marginally more useful than just plugging the headphones directly into the goddamned iPod.
Current Mood: Homocidal
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December 19th, 2007
11:10 pm - Hipster Checklist
Buy mac- Work on novel in coffee shop
Listen to obscure music and get offended when everyone else doesn't instantly recognize it
- Instantly start hating said music as soon as one person recognizes it
- Have existential crisis
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December 12th, 2007
09:43 pm - So, I got a mac.
Yeah. So my friend sold me his MacBook Pro. Just forked over $1600, and now it's sitting on my desk, doing nothing, because for some reason it hates my wireless. I think my other laptop's feelings got hurt, because now it can't connect to the wireless either. Oh well. They're sitting side by side, so they'll have to learn to play nice one way or the other.
I think I'm going to catch NAS or something.
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December 10th, 2007
12:21 pm - No Swearing
Whenever a client that we think might be particularly sensitive to my, uh, colorful outbursts ("WHY WON'T THIS FUCKING GODDAMNIT FUCKPILE PROCESS THIS STUPID SHIT") the boss reminds me not to swear.
Since I have the memory of a goldfish with Alzheimer's, I find it useful to make myself a little reminder.
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December 6th, 2007
10:44 am - Fuck your stupid twitter
you know, thinking about it, maybe i shouldn't call the folder i forward all mail form my parents to "mom and dick".
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December 4th, 2007
07:35 pm - Have you ever almost fought a santa? And where can I replace my jellyfish?
My life sounds much more amazing than it actually is.
For instance, last Saturday a guy on the internet gave me $100 worth of drinking money, which I used to treat myself and my friends to a night out at Lee Harvey's. Oh, and while there, I apparently almost got into a fight with a Santa Claus who was there for charity. The memory became much more cemented in my mind when I dug out a pair of jingle bells out of my shirt pocket.
Also, if I'm interpreting this light on my car's dashboard correctly, my Jellyfish has lost its tentacles. 
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November 14th, 2007
11:52 am - Sex or Violence, but generally not both at once.
"others say hunting itself is like sex with a blow up doll and that the 10 percent decline in hunters seen in the United States since the late '90s -- from 14 million to about 12.5 million -- coincides exactly with the debut of impotence drugs like Viagra."
- Dick Cheney's Sadistic Passion for Shooting Tame Animals
I've really got no comment on this one.
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pavel_lishin's journal
