No Dog.

Halloween Costume HowTo: BRAIN SLUGS

I made a batch of six last night - I forgot how easy it is.

You will need:
- yellow cleaning gloves
- superglue
- pipe cleaners or whatever those things are called, you'll see what I mean.
- a sharpie.
- green spraypaint, or if you have time to kill, a green marker.
- sticky velcro tape.

Step 1: Inflate gloves, and tie them off.

Step 2: Fold down each of the fingers, aiming somewhat towards the thumb, and squeeze superglue in the fold. This will splay them out and make them look more like little tentacles.

Step 3: Cut out a circle of paper, and scotch-tape it to where you want the eye to be, then color the whole glove green. I suspended mine from a string with some newspaper behind it, so I could get some even-ish paint coverage.

Step 4: Remove the paper eye, and grab a bendy twisty thing. Twist it around the knot where you tied the glove off, and roll up the twisty doodad to make little end-points. This also makes sure you don't stab anyone in the eye with the sharp end of one.

Step 5: Draw an ominous eye.

Step 6: Enjoy world domination!

Some of my little slugs appear to have deflated a bit overnight, which actually makes them look even better.

Step 7: This is the step that probably won't apply to any of you, but I used double-sided velcro tape to hold the little suckers on my head. I just peeled back the tape, and stuck a bit of one side to my head, and a bit of the other side to the slug. The glue is pretty strong, so I can remove and reattach the brain slug as necessary, but unless you have a bald spot on your head that you can conveniently attach something to, I don't really know what to suggest. You might be able to superglue bobby pins to the slug, or something. Ask a woman.

No Dog.

I'm fairly certain this is one of the signs of the Apocalypse

4chan is leaking out into the world.

Meet the planet COROT-exo-3b. ... What’s bizarre is that it has about the same diameter of Jupiter, but has 21.6 times Jupiter’s mass. That makes it denser than lead.

If I could stand on the surface of this planet, I’d weigh 4200 kilograms. That’s over 9000 pounds!
No Dog.

Tub Ring Show apparently cancelled.

There is no god, or if there is, he probably hates me. I knew I shouldn't have knifed all those nuns at the bus stop last week.

Anyway, tub ring show is cancelled. If you were looking forward to getting your nipples licked, I guess you can always head downtown anyway and hook up with a friendly hobo. Bring a wet-nap.
No Dog.

Kinder Eggs

As most of you know, I grew up in Russia, and Kinder Eggs were precious bits of treasure from the distant and mysterious west. (Not too far west, but far enough to be awesome.) Chocolate candy? Amazingly tiny detailed toy? The joy of unpeeling crinkly foil?

Maybe that last one was just for kids with slight OCD, like me.

Anyway, Kinder Eggs remind me of everything awesome about childhood, and I buy one time to time at a local Russian/Euro Deli store. Every Russian store I've been to sells them, so you should give it a try.

Sadly, those toys are nowhere near as amusing as they were when I was a kid. Oh well, nostalgia (and chocolate) are still delicious.

Kinder Egg!